“Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.” -Joseph B. Wirthlin
Every weekday, somewhere between 7:00PM and 10:00PM, you can find our little silver hatchback speeding toward the bus stop.
We drive Joe almost every morning into Pittsburgh, and then he takes the bus almost all the way home. That way, our family gets to live in a house outside of the city without too much burden on our medical student.
Driving to or from school is the best part of our day; I get to talk with my husband, the girls laugh and play with Daddy.
One evening during our drive home, Joe told me about a lecture he’d attended. There had been a panel of doctors representing different medical fields.
A student had asked the panel a simple question, “How do you know if a specialty is right for you?”
One of the doctors immediately grabbed his mic and answered the question in a way very stereotypical of his field, making some roll their eyes and others chuckle.
I listened to this story and laughed with Joe, agreeing that this may not be the field for us.
A few days later, I took my daughters to a pediatrician check-up. We’re all friends with this doctor and she’s always interested to hear how Joe is doing.
The panel-doctor story became relevant, so I told it to her. She blinked a few times before bursting out laughing. She held onto the counter and wiped away tears.
“That is just so typical!” she finally gasped, straightening.
I smiled, but for some reason I felt unsettled and even a little icky inside.
As we drove away after the appointment, I determined why.
It is one thing for Joe to tell me an anecdote with a purpose; we are both learning about the different fields, wanting to pick the best fit for his personality, goals, and desires.
It is another thing entirely for me to tell a story for the sole purpose of representing a fellow human being as a less-than-finished product.
It is not Christian, it is not Christlike, to represent other people in a way intended to mock, belittle, or snub them.
It doesn’t matter if these people are friends, family, or strangers.
It doesn’t matter if they are anonymous people on the internet, vagrants on the street, or abusive drivers leaning on their horns.
Creating an environment of irritation and arrogance makes hearts and hands cold. When does irritation build? When does arrogance love?
Telling a story with the express desire to put down someone, even someone I didn’t know, even if the story was true, made the Holy Ghost leave. That’s why I felt icky.
Realizing what I’d done, asking my Heavenly Father’s forgiveness, and resolving to speak with kindness made the Holy Ghost come back. That warm, approving feeling is worth the price of self-improvement and the Holy Ghost is the ultimate teacher.
Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th latter-day prophet, said, “There is no end to the good we can do, to the influence we can have with others. Let us not dwell on the critical or the negative. Let us pray for strength; let us pray for capacity and desire to assist others. Let us radiate the light of the gospel at all times and all places, that the Spirit of the Redeemer may radiate from us.”
Friends, let’s recommit to speaking words of kindness.
Kind hearts always show.
-Jenna
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