A Coral Reef Cake

Cake-making is my zen. 

It's my happy place. 

Taking raw ingredients and turning them into something delicious and beautiful is satisfying beyond description. 

And then I can give it away and make someone else happy, too. 

My Dad said once that going fishing makes him feel like a kid again-- excited and over-the-moon happy.

That's exactly how I feel when I get to design and make a challenging new cake. 

I got the idea for this first one on YouTube. Basically, you start with a stacked cake and then just pipe on anything that comes into your head. The two-tone icing is pretty simple-- ideally you'd just take a bigger bag and put two smaller bags inside it. 

Next time, I think I'll make some fondant fish and really bring out the nautical theme. 

Since two members of my church had their birthdays on coinciding days, I actually made two cakes yesterday. I wanted this second cake to be simple but elegant, with a little fun thrown in. 

A few weeks ago, I found some alphabet-shaped cookie cutters at Wal-Mart and decided immediately that they were a Need, not just a Want. Ever since then I've been thinking about ways to use them.

I laid down the cookie cutters to spell out Emily's name and poured sprinkles inside the cutters. As you can see, it wasn't perfect, but it worked well enough and ended up looking cute. 

I'm growing wise in my old age (my birthday's coming up-- I'll be 27) and so now I write the Happy Birthday message backwards-- I start with the name, then write 'Birthday' just above it so I know how to make it fit with the name, then I write 'Happy' last. I did the roses very last so I knew that everything would fit. 

I didn't know this would happen (I mostly shoot from the hip while cake-designing), but the sprinkles actually adhered to one another while the cake was setting in the fridge, so they didn't move when we transported it. 

(Behind the scenes: I actually bribed my one-year-old with a handful of chocolate chips so she would be happy and quiet while I was filming :)

Here's a few more pictures:

Happy Birthday, Mindy and Emily!! I hope you enjoyed your cakes!

-Jenna

"Do I Need to be Perfect to Feel the Holy Ghost?"

“I’m confused about the Holy Ghost,” a sister admitted during Sunday School. “I’m still figuring stuff out and learning about things that I need to do. When can I have the Holy Ghost with me?”

I thought about this and felt prompted to answer.

“I think what you’re asking is, ‘Do I need to be perfect before I can feel the Holy Ghost?’”

She smiled a little and nodded.

I continued, “The answer is, no, you don’t have to be perfect to feel the Holy Ghost. You just need to be sincerely trying.

“But there’s a word that we need to discuss here, and that word is ‘rebellion’. Rebellion happens when a person knows what God wants them to do, and then they turn and walk another way.

“The Holy Ghost will not come when we are in rebellion. He can’t. But, no matter where we are on the path, as soon as we turn back to God and begin sincerely to follow Him again, the Spirit will come.

“We don’t need to be perfect, we just need to be facing toward God and sincerely trying.”

She considered that, then nodded. “Thank you, that feels right.”

It felt right to both of us. Two imperfect women, facing God and sincerely trying, felt the Holy Ghost confirm those words.

---

The influence of the Holy Ghost can be felt from time to time by every person on earth who is seeking the joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but the gift of the Holy Ghost gives a person the priviledge of recieving its influence all the time, every day.

How can this gift be given?

After baptism by proper priesthood authority, the Gift of the Holy Ghost is given by the laying on of hands. The newly-baptised and gift-given member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints now has the capability of having the spirit with them all the time, if they live worthy of it.

The Holy Ghost is very sensitive to the desires of our hearts and to our surroundings. As I noted before, it leaves when we are not acting in accordance with Jesus Christ’s gospel. It comes when we are humble and quiet inside-- it is a ‘still, small voice’ and if we are being loud or even just distracted, often we can miss its gentle nudges and promptings.

This gift is the ultimate teacher. I have felt the Holy Ghost confirm the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, offer comfort when I’m sad or worried, and guide me in important day-to-day decisions. I would be lost without this very real influence and keeping it in my heart is worth every price of discipleship.

-Jenna

Kind Words and a Panel of Doctors

“Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.” -Joseph B. Wirthlin

Every weekday, somewhere between 7:00PM and 10:00PM, you can find our little silver hatchback speeding toward the bus stop.

We drive Joe almost every morning into Pittsburgh, and then he takes the bus almost all the way home. That way, our family gets to live in a house outside of the city without too much burden on our medical student.

Driving to or from school is the best part of our day; I get to talk with my husband, the girls laugh and play with Daddy.

One evening during our drive home, Joe told me about a lecture he’d attended. There had been a panel of doctors representing different medical fields.

A student had asked the panel a simple question, “How do you know if a specialty is right for you?”

One of the doctors immediately grabbed his mic and answered the question in a way very stereotypical of his field, making some roll their eyes and others chuckle.

I listened to this story and laughed with Joe, agreeing that this may not be the field for us.

A few days later, I took my daughters to a pediatrician check-up. We’re all friends with this doctor and she’s always interested to hear how Joe is doing.

The panel-doctor story became relevant, so I told it to her. She blinked a few times before bursting out laughing. She held onto the counter and wiped away tears.

“That is just so typical!” she finally gasped, straightening.

I smiled, but for some reason I felt unsettled and even a little icky inside.

As we drove away after the appointment, I determined why.

It is one thing for Joe to tell me an anecdote with a purpose; we are both learning about the different fields, wanting to pick the best fit for his personality, goals, and desires.

It is another thing entirely for me to tell a story for the sole purpose of representing a fellow human being as a less-than-finished product.

It is not Christian, it is not Christlike, to represent other people in a way intended to mock, belittle, or snub them.

It doesn’t matter if these people are friends, family, or strangers.

It doesn’t matter if they are anonymous people on the internet, vagrants on the street, or abusive drivers leaning on their horns.

Creating an environment of irritation and arrogance makes hearts and hands cold. When does irritation build? When does arrogance love?

Telling a story with the express desire to put down someone, even someone I didn’t know, even if the story was true, made the Holy Ghost leave. That’s why I felt icky.

Realizing what I’d done, asking my Heavenly Father’s forgiveness, and resolving to speak with kindness made the Holy Ghost come back. That warm, approving feeling is worth the price of self-improvement and the Holy Ghost is the ultimate teacher.

Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th latter-day prophet, said, “There is no end to the good we can do, to the influence we can have with others. Let us not dwell on the critical or the negative. Let us pray for strength; let us pray for capacity and desire to assist others. Let us radiate the light of the gospel at all times and all places, that the Spirit of the Redeemer may radiate from us.”

Friends, let’s recommit to speaking words of kindness.

Kind hearts always show.

-Jenna

Stained Glass Cake

I'm going to start with some honesty. 

I injure/ruin my smart phone about once a year (ie toilet plunges, cheese in the charge port, spilled water...) and my deadline is coming up. 

This post is mostly to get all of my stained-glass cake photos in one place so that when the fatal day occurs, I won't lose them all. 

Don't worry, I'll include the tutorial links and a link to a FABULOUS white cake recipe to make this worth your while. 

This is a stained glass-style cake that was actually pretty easy to make, but it involved a lot of steps. 

This was a white cake with buttercream icing in the middle, chocolate ganache on the outside, and white fondant on the top. 

I'm kinda hoping to try this on a wedding cake someday. 

Here's the tutorial that guided me through the stained glass detailing. (Note: the tutorial uses alcohol/food dye to paint the flowers, I substituted clear vanilla extract for the alcohol).

I got the idea for a chocolate ganache coating online. The purpose is to get your cake to have super-sharp edges, but I learned that this technique may take a few tries. But even if it doesn't quite work, who doesn't love an extra layer of chocolate in their cake?

Fondant beginners ought to check out some tutorials before working with fondant; it can be difficult but a few little tricks make things much easier. 

You can see that I've got a brown line around the bottom of the cake-- I used too much corn syrup on top of the chocolate layer. Corn syrup makes the fondant stick to your cake, but I learned that you just want enough to make the cake tacky, not enough that syrup leaks out the edges of your cake!

Finally, I've found a really excellent white cake recipe. It's a good cake as is, but add 2/3 cup sour cream to the butter mixture if you want a moist cake. Without the sour cream, the cake is a little too dry.

*Sorry about the wind in the video. I needed to go outside to film this since my little girls were being happy and noisy. 

Painting the fondant makes it easy to cover mistakes :)

Add color...

It's important to leave some white space when painting-- it looks much more natural. 

And that's it! 

-Jenna

A Letter For Parents-To-Be

Seven hours old

Hello!

First-- congratulations! I’m so excited for you, some really wonderful things are headed your way.

Also- I’m sorry, because you probably get unsolicited advice every day. You’ve probably learned by now to just smile and nod, but I’m hoping to get your attention for a few minutes. I think that you’ll learn things here that will help you in the weeks and months ahead.

There are things that you only learn through experience.

You don’t understand the power of a baby until you’ve held him in your arms and felt the world around you remake itself, shiny and new.

You can’t understand the bonding that happens until you pick up your own crying baby and she immediately quiets.

And you also don’t understand why there are tragic stories of parents harming their babies until it’s you who has been up for twenty-four hours and your baby won’t stop screaming like his diaper is on fire*.

I want to address some common problems that you will experience after you bring home your darling baby. I want to warn you of things you will feel and things your baby will do that you may not understand.

Experience is the best teacher, of course, and you will soon have that experience. I want to pass some hard-earned information on to you in hopes of preparing you for experiences that you may not yet anticipate.

Let’s start with a big one.

1. Postpartum Depression

There’s a difference between baby blues and postpartum depression. Most mothers will experience baby blues which are negative emotions in the days following birth. These can include mood swings, crying for no reason, and feeling overwhelmed[1]. Those emotions should fade after a week or two and are very normal.

Postpartum depression happens to around 15% of women and is a more long-lasting version of the baby blues. The symptoms can set in anywhere from a few days to a year after your baby’s birth[1].

This website has a great description of postpartum depression symptoms:

• Fatigue
• Feeling sad, hopeless, and/or overwhelmed
• Trouble sleeping and eating
• Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
• Losing interest in things that you used to enjoy
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• No interest in your baby
• Thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby

I want to empower you so that you can identify the signs. If you feel like you need a little help getting back to emotional normal, go see your OB/GYN or your primary care doctor. They can give you medication to help your emotions stabilize.

I had depression after each baby. When my first was born, the symptoms actually started when she was about three months old and they lasted for about three months. For my second, the symptoms set in after about a month and lasted about a month.

I know now that for me, depression is a normal part of the baby-having process, but knowing this has empowered me. I know what to watch for and what to do to take care of myself.

When depression sets in, I feel like I am wearing a rock-filled backpack and like my smile is too heavy to keep on my face.

I prayed a lot when I was having trouble with depression. Here’s what the Holy Ghost impressed on me (in case it helps you too):

-Count your blessings

-This (the depression) will end soon

-Look for easy solutions to stressful problems.

I found that the initial slide is crucial. If I fight to swim instead of sink, then I can keep off the worst of it. When I recognized depression setting in after my miscarriage, I loaded my daughters into the car and went out to find some good distractions. On different days we bought donuts, walked through the pet store, and bought a shirt from Target; all things designed to bring me out of my circumstances and into a little external joy.

Take care of your emotional health and remember that if depression does set in, there are ways that you can receive help.

2. Does Your Hospital Have a Nursery?

After you deliver your baby, you’ll be moved to the Mother and Baby part of the hospital. Many of these units have nurseries where helpful nurses will keep an eye on your baby if you want to sleep. This (along with free room service meals) is my favorite thing about the hospital and I think that a nursery's importance can’t be overstated.

About fifteen hours after my second daughter was born, she coughed up the mucus in her stomach but for some reason stopped breathing. My husband immediately identified the problem as her lips turned blue (which, by the way, will always be a first sign of asphyxiation-- if you’re concerned that your baby may not be breathing, look at the lips). We pushed the emergency button and the charge nurse sprinted in and got her breathing again. The gap between breaths was somewhere around forty-five seconds, which is a long time for a newborn.

It’s very possible that our baby would have been just fine. Perhaps after a minute she would have coped and started to breathe, but for a new mother this was absolutely terrifying. I still feel panicky when I remember that I could have been asleep in my hospital room with her silently choking beside me.

Hospital nurseries are important for that extra eye on your baby, but also for your own health. After giving birth, a new mother is totally exhausted. Those first few days of rest are crucial, and since newborns may be up during much of the night, it is important for the mother to have a way to get needed sleep.

Don’t assume that your hospital has a nursery; many women learn too late that their hospitals no longer provide this service. Call before your delivery date to find out if you’ll have access to a nursery.

3. Rock-a-bye baby, PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now in your pregnancy that the baby (I dislike the word ‘fetus’) tends to wake up when you lay down. This is so fun when you’re pregnant; I always loved feeling my baby move and kick (although the hiccups got a little old).

You probably won’t be surprised to learn that the baby kicking at night in your tummy is the very same baby that you bring home, and he’s now used to being up late at night.

There are some tricks to helping your baby adjust, though, so don’t give up hope.

In the meantime, find something that you can think about while you’re up at night. I either quietly play a favorite movie or read (my favorite late-night books are the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, because they’re hilarious, a little bit cynical, and easy to read-- perfect for late-late nights spent rocking babies).

When I was a brand-new mom, I let my little baby decide when she wanted to be awake and when she wanted to sleep. She would nap periodically throughout the day and then she would be awake until 2:00 AM or later every day. It was awful, but I didn’t know how to get her to go to bed earlier.

We went to visit my in-laws when our baby was six months old. My mother-in-law Debbie asked if I usually let Chantelle nap at 9:00PM. I did, because the alternative was an angry baby. She suggested that I force Chantelle to be awake earlier in the day so that she would be tired at night, which I finally started doing.

I gratefully learned that my baby’s bedtime could be slowly adjusted by controlling naps.

The first thing that you should know is that an out-of-the-hospital baby is capable of being awake for six hours or more; Baby Piper was capable of ten hours. If you give the baby her way, she’ll be awake from 10:00PM to 4:00AM or later, which is really awful for the parent.

The way to start adjusting this is to wake your baby six or so hours before you want her to go to bed. Your aim is for the baby to get sleepy around the time you also want to go to bed. I usually start doing this the day that I get out of the hospital or the day after; the sooner the better.

However, don’t take this to extremes. You’ll soon get to know your baby and the two of you can figure out what works best for you. Just keep in mind that controlling naps is your key to sleep-training your infant.

This isn’t a perfect science. This will take time. Your baby will not do this perfectly, especially at first, even if you’re diligent. Your baby is a little person and she ultimately is the decider of when she sleeps and when she wakes, but know that controlling naps is your biggest and best key. Keep working at it, and know that eventually your baby will naturally start to sleep at the proper times and you will get to sleep as well.

4. Changing Your Expectations

Pretend that everything has worked beautifully; you controlled naps, your baby just fell asleep, and you shut the door quietly and creep toward your bed.

Oh, your beautiful bed.

You sink down into the fluffy mattress, pull the covers up to your chin, and start drifting.

You think those fatal words, “Now I should get a few hours of sleep.”

As if he read your mind, your little baby begins to wail.

You groan and get back up. Even the best of parents in this situation will be fighting to control  feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and probably anger.

The problem is that sleeping for a few hours at a time can be an unreasonable or impossible expectation for a little baby. You need to change your expectations from high to reasonable. If you are expecting impossible things from your baby or from your situation, you will only torture yourself and have even more difficulty being a gentle, loving Mom in the hardest of circumstances.

Here’s what finally removed the mental torture of expecting sleep but not getting it.  

Baby Piper would finally fall asleep and I would climb into my bed. With my first baby, at this point I would think, “At last, I can sleep!”

With Piper, I would think, “All I want is the chance to stretch out and close my eyes.”

Sometimes the baby and I really would sleep, but more often the baby would wake up after a few seconds or a few minutes. If I had firmly told myself that all I wanted was the chance to stretch out and close my eyes, I found it that much easier to get back up and go be Mom again.

I wouldn’t feel angry or cheated out of sleep. I would have gotten just what I wanted, a chance to stretch out and rest for a few seconds.

Lowering my expectations of sleep to a reasonable level saved me from a lot of mental anguish.

5. Shaken Baby Syndrome

Love me, don't shake me; my future is in your hands

After Piper was born, I was forced to watch this truly awful video showing the effects of shaking a baby.

I’m not going into detail about what happens to tender little babies who are shaken because my heart can’t take it. I’ll leave you to do the research on your own; I will tell you that babies are either permanently damaged or killed if they are shaken.

You’re going to understand very soon that you will be up late many nights, usually nights in a row. That little baby is going to become bigger and more malicious as the nights grow later.

Then, after a long sleep for both of you, you’ll wake up and see again that he’s just a sweet, innocent baby who isn’t trying to torture you after all.

I want you to take a pledge with me, right now, that you’ll never, ever hit, shake, or hurt your baby in any way.

If you need to vent your feelings, blow on your baby’s little tummy and make him laugh. It sounds silly, but it will help both of you.

If you feel yourself start to lose your temper or if you feel an onslaught of anxiety, set your baby in his crib and go into another room. Take deep breaths, pray for help, get a drink of water, and remember that he’s just a little baby who isn’t trying to hurt you.

I promise, soon the sleepless nights will be over. Treasure these late nights as time spent solely between the two of you. Remember that doing hard things builds character, and remember that you are putting your own needs aside because you love your baby.

6. Cosleeping

I’ve found that my babies do not want to sleep by themselves; they want to be cuddled up to Mommy.

I also, however, have a horrible fear that my baby will suffocate in my soft bed, so I’ve found a way to compromise while cosleeping.

We bought two crib mattresses and put them side-by-side on the floor. This way, I can lay beside my baby until she’s asleep and then sneak off to my own bed. If she rolls off of the mattress, she falls about five inches to the ground and is just fine. If she rolls onto her tummy in the night (which she actually did do when she was five months or so), she can still breathe because she isn’t on our pillowtop mattress.

This method is just a suggestion to keep in mind; it’s not perfect, but it is what has worked best for me.

7. Infant Tylenol and The NoseFrida (A.K.A. The Snot Sucker)

Keep some Infant Tylenol on hand, because by the time you need it, it’s too late. Your baby is miserable and you have to run to Walgreens at 2:00 AM. Always call your pediatrician to find out the proper dosage; overdosing on Tylenol can cause liver failure.

You can usually tell if your baby is in pain because he won’t stop screaming/crying, and usually he’ll be arching his back and stiffening his legs. If you suspect that he’s hurting, call your pediatrician for the correct dosage and give some Tylenol. By the way, we actually found that half-doses of Tylenol are just as effective for babies as full doses.

Sometimes your baby gets sick. It’s awful, because he needs to suck to nurse and if his nose is stuffed, he can’t eat and probably won’t be able to sleep either.

There are lots of nasal aspirators out there that are supposed to suck snot out.

Good to have on hand but largely ineffective

I hate to tell you this, but most of them don’t work.

Good idea, but also doesn't work

The good news is that there is one that ALWAYS works, but the concept is a little gross. Trust me that you won’t end up with a mouthful of snot, and trust me that by the time you decide your baby needs it, the grossness will be totally worth it.

I’m talking about the Snot Sucker (official name is the NoseFrida).

Gross concept, but it works every time

Just trust me, go out and buy this thing and stick it in your drawer. It’s relatively cheap and you don’t want to end up needing one at 3:00AM.

If you decide not to get it, just remember that it’s out there and that it works.

8. Gerber Soothe drops

Also known as Liquid Gold

If your baby is ever screaming, arching her back, or acting like she’s just dying from pain, it might be from colic, which is stomach pain. We found Gerber Soothe probiotic drops that introduce the good bacteria your baby may lack which soothes the stomach pain. We have used these for two babies and they worked when nothing else did for both children.

The drops are quite expensive and they can’t get too warm because the probiotic will die, so you can’t order them from Amazon. However, if you ever think your baby has colic, go get them because they work like magic. The price is worth it if your baby is in pain.

9. Mommy Superpowers

Last thing I’ll say is that you have a whole store of latent Mommy Superpowers that will come out when you have your baby. The biggest one is that you’ll love and want your baby, and your baby will love and want you. Your baby knows her mommy and she’ll quiet right down when you hold or nurse her.

Don’t forget to pray when things go badly. I’ve learned that Heavenly Father can send strength when I need it. Pray when you’re exhausted, pray when you’re irritated, pray when you’re happy, pray when you’re anxious or depressed. Keep praying, then pray some more. Heavenly Father really cares about mothers. He’ll send help when you need it.

I hope that this gives you a little reference to work from. You’re going to be a fantastic mother.

Everything is going to be wonderful. You are opening the most beautiful chapter of your life so far.

Good luck, and love from Jenna

Footnotes

*In giving this example, I am in no way condoning any form of child abuse. I want you to be aware, however, that parenting can be emotionally painful and demanding. I want you to have some mental preparation so that you can cope in a healthy manner with any negative feelings that you may develop at late hours toward your baby.

[1] American Pregnancy Association: Promoting Pregnancy Wellness. 2015. “Do I Have a Form of Postpartum Depression?” http://americanpregnancy.org/first-year-of-life/forms-of-postpartum-depression/ (accessed 11/1/2017)

[2] American Psychology Association. 2017. “What is postpartum depression & anxiety?” http://www.apa.org/pi/women/resources/reports/postpartum-depression.aspx (accessed 11/1/2017)