1. Alaska is part of North America
Duh.
But I have to say this before I start because not everyone knows this. In fact, a shocking amount of people don't know this. I came to Utah and met a great girl who didn't know that you can drive from Alaska to Utah. I felt the weight of America's public education system crush my hopes for the future.
These are also the folks voting for and against ANWR. If that doesn't make your conservationalist and oil-needy selves nervous, I don't know what will.
2. Slang Defines and Marks You
"Hey did you bring any bug dope?"
"I posted a picture of my snowmachine on Facebook"
"Can I borrow a Carrs bag?"
"I'm wearing my cold gear"
The fist two here are the most important, and frankly, whenever I use them in Utah, people give me really strange looks. But I refuse to stop using them, because the moment I call a snowmachine a snowmob-... that word..., my Alaskan-ness is pfffft gone.
This is huge.
A snowmachine is the machine with handlebars and a track and that heavenly gas-and-oil exhaust. A snowmobile is what everyone who has never ridden as snowmachine calls it. That's pretty much the distinction. If you want to label yourself as a first-time-tourist in AK, then by all means use the term snowmobile. If you want to fit right in, say snowmachine and you'll be riding with the best of them.
The second term, 'bug dope', is insect repellent. I'm frankly surprised that it doesn't say 'dope' on the can, because that's what its called in Alaska where the mosquito is the state bird.
Carrs was our grocery store chain. Now safeway bought it out, but a Carrs bag is just a normal grocery bag, but with that hometown charm. On another note, my roommates were from the south, and Publix is to them what Carrs is to me.
Finally, cold gear is a broad statement including everything from fleece to smartwool to snowpants and boots. When I say cold gear, I'm referring to the fleece that I wear skiing.
I could go on about the sayings that are popular in Utah, where a premie isn't a baby who was born early. I also died laughing the first time I heard my Utah roommate say "let's go play!" Its really a culture thing.
On a sidenote, I guess a girl that calls insect spray "dope" can't really make fun of my wonderful Utah friends, even if they do say some odd things.
3. Guns
Welcome to the land where not owning a gun probably means that you or one you love will die.
Ok, that's a little drastic. But really, you are living where you could surprise an animal (like a bear), and the consequences are usually not very pretty. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. For example, an Alaskan neighbor of mine saved a girl from a bear, story here. If she had carried a gun and known how to use it, she wouldn't have needed a rescuer. Gun knowledge and ownership is crucial here and the idea of losing gun rights in such a wild area makes me shiver. Its one of the areas in the U.S. where having a gun isn't just a fun right that lets you go shooting for kicks, it may be the difference one day between life and death. So anyway, just something to consider next time that comes up for referendum.
4. People Who Move to Alaska
This is just a heads up for any of you considering Alaska as a permanent home. I watched many couples move to AK for a job, for family, for adventure. Usually (not always, though), one spouse of the new family (usually the husband) would fall head-over-heels in love with Alaska. He would grow his beard, buy Carhart everything, get a beater truck, and fish or hunt every night. He would be passionately in love with the raw beauty of Alaska.
But.
The wife would be upset. Oh, she would try to love it, she really would. But dang it, if ONE more moose eats her garden, she's gonna blow. She's sick of scrubbing and bleaching and soaking various clothing pieces to remove the fish egg smell, and she misses her mom and sisters.
So. All this comes to an ultimatum. She says, "we are moving out of here next week, or we are getting a divorce." Usually they move back to civilization, the wife ecstatic to leave "that awful place", and the husband leaving his soul in Alaska.
5. Beater Trucks and Winter Coats
In Utah, there's this cute fashion of wearing little wedge shoes around town during winter. And in Utah, that's OK. Sure, your feet will get wet and cold, but its not like you'll lose a toe to frostbite here.
In Alaska, warm is a fashion statement. I used to wear thick fuzzy socks to church on Sunday with my skiing coldweather fleece beneath a long skirt (although I admit, this was a new thing for my fellow worshipers to witness).Chic Alaskan women sport (usually) clean (sometimes) namebrand winter coats in varying colors. In high school, the cool kids wore the huge down jackets that were bigger than they were. Here's another thing: nobody cares what you drive! If your car can make it down to Jim Creek (photo on the right), than its a keeper.
If you are foolish enough to buy a luxury car, then it will always be dirty and you can only drive it for one month out of the year anyway. The most admired and sought-after items in Alaska are ones that will be functional for a long time and that will get you to the places that make living in Alaska worthwhile.
I love my home. Alaska will always run in my veins, as deep as bone and as true as blood. I'll never be able to truly leave it, even if I live where fashion rivals function and cars determine status for the rest of my life.
Alaska will always define me.
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