I know what you're thinking.
"Jenna, can you give us quick updates of what you're reading, but in an enjoyable, entertaining way?"
Why, yes, I can!
For your viewing pleasure, here are Jenna's Book Reviews.
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#1
Wuthering Heights should be renamed, "If y'all Had Just Listened to Nelly, Everything Would Have Turned Out All Right."
#2
"Boromir, can you stop whining for like five minutes?!"
--The Fellowship of the Ring
#3
*Me, snacking on popcorn* "Okay everyone. You may now, through facetious dialogue and drama, proceed to wreck each other's lives."
-- Northanger Abbey
#4
In the Department of Mysteries...
Bode: "we've got another request for a time turner."
Croaker: "*groan* not another one!? What's the excuse this time?"
B: "it's a kid from Hogwarts who wants to take more classes than will fit in a normal schedule."
C: "A teenager?! No. Absolutely not. A powerful magical instrument with the capacity to change wizardkind should never be handled without-"
B: "It's for Hermione Granger."
C: ...
B:...
C:..."It's hers. I'll sign the form today."
-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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Remember on the first day back at Hogwarts (year 3) when Harry waited outside McGonagall's office so she and Hermione could talk? He only waited a minute, then Hermione came out beaming and they went to dinner.
Later we find that McGonagall taught Hermione all about the time turner during that short space.
Why did Harry wait for only a minute?
Because the two girls went back in time right there, giving McGonagall ample time to tell Hermione all about the time turner.
When Harry left the office to wait, the past Hermione and McGonagall could step out from their hiding spot and go back into the Great Hall like nothing had happened
#5
*Other people* "You are so precious."
*Me:*
"That word doesn't mean what you think it means..."
-The Two Towers
#6
"An In-Depth Look at All Kinds of Unhealthy Relationships..."
-Sense and Sensibility
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Seriously though guys:
-Edward and Lucy
-ROBERT and Lucy
-Mary Ann and Everyone Else
-Brandon/Brandon's brother and Eliza
-Elinor and Mary Ann
-Mrs. Jennings and her parrot
AND SO MANY MORE.
#7
HOW TO READ The Lord of the Rings trilogy:
1. Watch the first movie. Ignore the book.
2. Read the second book, skipping any and all paragraphs lacking quotation marks. Fully understand why people were so bothered when I referred to myself in third person as a teenager
3. Block out a weekend and read every word of The Return of the King. It contains the secrets of the universe.
I'm still reeling.
#8
#5
*Other people* "You are so precious."
*Me:*
"That word doesn't mean what you think it means..."-The Two Towers
#6
"An In-Depth Look at All Kinds of Unhealthy Relationships..."
-Sense and Sensibility
-------------------
Seriously though guys:
-Edward and Lucy
-ROBERT and Lucy
-Mary Ann and Everyone Else
-Brandon/Brandon's brother and Eliza
-Elinor and Mary Ann
-Mrs. Jennings and her parrot
AND SO MANY MORE.
#7
HOW TO READ The Lord of the Rings trilogy:
1. Watch the first movie. Ignore the book.
2. Read the second book, skipping any and all paragraphs lacking quotation marks. Fully understand why people were so bothered when I referred to myself in third person as a teenager
3. Block out a weekend and read every word of The Return of the King. It contains the secrets of the universe.
I'm still reeling.
#8
Voldemort (singing in a minor, yet jazzy key):
"Gotta hide my horcrux, gotta hide my souuuulll..."But...where?
"In a cave in the ground, in the middle of the lake, oh I'll keep it there!"But does it need more?
"A potion! That potion I brewed, I brewed when I was four!!.. (teen)"More?
"Oh wait there's more!"(Switches to emo rock)
DEAD BODIES, SUNKEN BOATS, BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!
(Pulls out hat and stick for jazzy finish):
And that's where I'll hide my soulllllll!"Nagini (applauding with tail): "That was great, Master. Where will you hide the other horcruxes?"
Voldemort: "The others? IDK, maybe I'll throw one in Gringotts and give another to Lucius, he's pretty cool. And maybe stick one under a shack and the last in that secret room in Hogwarts that millions of other students have also used. It'll be fine."
-The precursor to The Deathly Hallows.
(Anyone else ever thought that Voldemort sort of gave up after hiding the first one?)
#9
A little girl learns that courage is being terrified to death but doing it anyway.
Also-- don't go through the door.
--Coraline
*Years ago I worked for at a law firm and one of the attorneys, in passing, mentioned that one of his favorite books is Coraline. That's all the encouragement I need, so I checked it out and read it through in one sitting. And oh, my!! It's fast-paced and interesting, and just the right level of creepy/adventure to keep you tangled. Highly recommend for anyone wanting a good, scary story.
#10
Q: What is Anne Shirley's least favorite vegetable?
A: Carrots. (Ba dum tss!)
--Anne of Green Gables
**Did you know that Anne of Green Gables is book #1 in an 8 book series? Believe it or not, the books get better as they go along. The audiobooks are fabulous-- I check them out on Libby to put on while I'm doing the dishes or folding laundry. If you're looking for a new book, check them out!
-Jenna
