THE SUPERMOM AWARDS!!

WELCOME to the SUPERMOM AWARDS!!!

You are all Big Heros to your families and we are here to celebrate YOU!

*Note: This is called the Super MOM awards, but we recognize you Dads out there too. Give yourselves a round of applause! Dads are so important and we respect you for all that you do.

Our Service Award goes to all of the moms and dads who...

...comforted a crying child

...told a family member, “Good morning! I’m so glad you’re awake, I missed you!” or something similar

...made breakfast, fixed lunches, or cleaned up after other people today. Let me be the first to thank you! You made the day so much better for your families.

...had a child say, “Will you play with me?” to which you responded, “Yes I will!” You may have only played for a few minutes, but you still made their day, thank you!

Give yourselves a round of applause, you served your families today and made your homes a better place.

Next up we have the 'Parenting is Difficult but I Love It' Awards.

First nomination is the mother whose child picked out a fifty dollar toy at the grocery store and begged for it. You said, “Oh sweetie, what a great toy! I don’t think we’re going to get it today but you sure picked a good one. Can you please put it back?” What a sweet way to handle a difficult situation, great job!

Second nomination is to the father who was reading to his little girl when she for no discernible reason reached back and slapped his face. You took a deep breath, asked her to say sorry, and then kept reading.

But wait, this just in! She then pinched your arm HARD and it HURT, but you kept your cool and took her over to the Time Out Chair where you rocked her and told her that you love her. You’re a great parent, thank you.

Bonus point!! Your wife saw you being so gentle and her heart melted a little. Marriage for the win!

Third nomination is to the mother of the newborn baby. That little baby cried and cried and cried All. Night. Long.

Did you give up?

No!

Did you cry too? Ok, you did a little, but you didn’t get mad at your baby. Instead, you watched Cheaper by the Dozen at 4:00AM and rocked your baby until he finally fell asleep.

You know what? That was character you were building in yourself and you’ll never regret it. In fact, in a few months you’ll look back on those nights as a sweet time with just you and him. YOU’RE INCREDIBLE, YOU EXHAUSTED MAMAS OUT THERE!! WE’RE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!!!!

And finally, we have the ‘I Can Do Hard Things!’ Awards.

First award goes to the mother who completed a long day at the grocery store only to find that her right rear tire was flat. The children were hungry, you were exhausted, and you were worried. You’ve never changed a tire before, right? You were hoping to just drive it home, but instead you FIGURED OUT how to get it over to the mechanic who fixed the whole dadgum thing.

You took care of your kids, kept yourself smiling even though they were howling from exhaustion, and you SOLVED A HARD PROBLEM!! Kudos to you, we’re so impressed. Go get yourself an ice cream cone from the freezer-- you deserve it.

Next award goes to the mother who successfully CHANGED THE SPARK PLUGS on her snowblower (this was last winter, the award is somewhat belated).

That’s AMAZING!! You felt so proud of yourself, didn’t you, AND YOU DESERVE TO BE! You get a thirty-minute massage and a Dove chocolate bar.

Finally, the most important award goes to the mother who was over a week past her pregnancy delivery date with no sign of the baby. You went in to be induced and went through a lot of pain. But something went wrong and you had to go into the Operating Room for an Emergency C-Section.

Did you shrink back?

NO!

We know you were nervous for your baby, but were you nervous for yourself?

HECK NO.

You were strong for your baby and you DID IT. Now you are healing from that invasive surgery WHILE learning how to care for your first baby.

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. YOU ARE SO, SO INCREDIBLE!

Enjoy that delicious little baby, you'll find that they double in size every time you turn around.

You women are so incredible. You keep at it, you keep your chin up, you stay strong. Motherhood is difficult but YOU ARE STRONG.

God bless you.

-Jenna

The Best in Us-- Feeling, Speaking, and Showing Love

I was driving home after a long doctor’s appointment where we found out that Chantelle had yet another urinary tract infection. We’d been there for about two hours, so now we were in the throes of rush hour traffic.

Traffic crept and I decided that I had enough room to make it through a green light. I eased forward just as a suburban coming from the opposite direction turned left into this intersection, driving right toward me.

I think I accidentally pushed the gas a little, then hit the brake hard.

She slammed her brake too, and then (if you can believe it) her car just sat there in the middle of the intersection as she screamed at me, jabbing her finger to emphasize her words.

I kind of squinted and waved her on, but she let me have her full, silent tirade, no corners cut.

(On a sidenote, this was a really unappealing look at another human being. Do we realize how unpleasant we are when angry?)

She finally finished, drove on, and I got to cross the intersection.

It took a few seconds to shake off her venom, but then I had this quiet feeling of heartbreak for this woman.

She looked like a mother to me, from the car she drove to the way she’d shaken her finger. I built her family in my head, imagining that she has two or three kids, maybe between ages eight and fifteen, and a husband who works at a tough job.

I bet she loves her family. I bet she serves them, fixes them dinner every night, makes sure homework is in backpacks and laundry is hung up.

I bet she would (and does) do anything for her kids.

And then, I just felt so sorry for these kids, because if this woman would scream at me, a total stranger who had done nothing wrong, I can guarantee that she screams at her family in just the same way. The same loss of control, the same bitter anger.

I don’t like when people scream at me. It makes me feel hurt and shriveled inside. I don’t think I’m unique to this; I think distress is a universal reaction to anger, especially for children.

Can you see the tragedy of a woman loving her children dearly, but presenting herself so that all they see is bitter anger or even hate? Her negative reactions may not even be aimed at the children, but you’d better believe that it affects them deeply.[1] My own little girl, for example, becomes like a snail hiding in its shell when she sees her parents in distress of any kind.

At this point, I want to stop.

This isn’t really about the woman in the car, though I wish the best for her.

This is about me. This is about you.

This is about us parents who are exhausted, agitated, or overwhelmed.

We’re doing the best we can. We are holding our families together, working long hours at tough jobs, and trying to figure this whole parenting thing out.

...Are we really doing the best we can?

On that long drive home, I wondered uneasily if I ever give my children cause to doubt that I love them. Do they ever feel small or shriveled?

I decided that from then on, I would try to show love in every interaction.

This isn't always easy with a three-year-old who is exploring her own independence and a one-year-old who is always tired but never sleepy.

I've found that showing love comes down to three principles: feeling love, speaking love, and showing love.

This effort has to start inside of me. Negative emotions like irritation or impatience are always apparent to my children. I have to slow down and remember how precious my children are and how much I love them. If love is my base emotion, that love will guide my words and actions even if I'm disciplining.

My words must also be gentle and kind. I have to consider how something will sound before I say it. I also have to be willing to apologize when I do or say something badly.

Next, I have to take time out of my day to show my children love. This means that for a few minutes the To-Do list has to be ignored and the phone has to be hidden so that I can really listen to and really play with my daughters.

When things are starting to get out of control, the last thing I do is pause to think, "When I'm at the end of the day looking back, what will I wish I had done?" By thinking this, I enable myself to step back and gain some perspective on hard situations.

I repeat that showing love is feelings, words, and actions all rolled together.

We only have a few short years with our children. They deserve the best in us.

-Jenna

Footnotes

[1] Moges, Bethel and Weber, Kristi. 2014. Parental Influence on the Emotional Development of Children. Developmental Psychology at Vanderbilt.

A Christmas Conversation

We were driving to church on a beautiful September morning, my two little girls and me.

Chantelle had been quiet for a while in her front-facing carseat, which meant that she was thinking. Finally she said,

“Mama, will Santa bring toys?”

I smiled. “Yes, he’ll bring toys on Christmas for you and Piper.”

“Will he take away my Piggy?”

I didn’t have to look to know that she was clutching her soft Pua piggy. It was her favorite birthday gift and is now her constant companion.

Pua Piggy

“No, he won’t take your piggy. Santa just brings toys.”

“...Can he take Piper’s piggy instead?”

I tried not to laugh. “No, he won’t take Piper’s piggy either. Santa brings toys because he loves you. He doesn’t want to be paid.”

We both thought for a moment, then I said, “Do you remember what we celebrate on Christmas?”

She did, “Jesus.”

“That’s right! On Christmas we remember the shepherds, the stable, and the star. That was the night Jesus was born.

“Santa's gifts represent Jesus's gift to all of us. Jesus died to complete the atonement and then was resurrected, so now we will all be resurrected too. We can repent and someday live with Heavenly Father again.

"So, Chantelle, Santa’s gifts represent Jesus’s love for you and for me.”

I thought about this, struck by what I’d just said.

On Christmas, we give gifts to each other symbolizing the greatest gift of all; the gift of God’s son, Jesus Christ.

Without Jesus Christ, there would be no hope of life after death, no hope of ever being freed from the stain of past sins.

Every prophet from the beginning of time looked forward to the birth of Jesus Christ, and now we look to His Second Coming. The whole world wraps neatly and perfectly around Jesus Christ; our mediator, our advocate, and our king.

We kept driving to church, Chantelle thinking about toys, piggies, and hopefully her Savior, and me thinking again that motherhood is the most enriching calling I could ever have. How else could I connect Santa and the Savior in such a powerful way, except by teaching a child?

-Jenna

Who is Jesus Christ, and why does He matter? Follow this link to learn more.
https://www.lds.org/topics/jesus-christ?lang=eng

Hurting Body, Healing Heart: A Mother's Experience with Miscarriage

The last thing that I wanted to see was blood, but there it was. Spotting my underwear, staining the toilet water pink- blood.

There's that moment of stunned shock, then hope that maybe, maybe...?

But no. I was pregnant, and I was bleeding.

I whimpered, "Oh no, oh no no no!!" and burst into tears.

My little one-year-old was looking at me with big eyes and my three-year-old was out in the hall. I fought the tears back.

Stay strong, I told myself. Stay strong for them. Mom can't fall apart right now.

---

This is a post about miscarriage.

Miscarriage happens when a pregnancy ends on its own within the first twenty weeks. Many, many women miscarry; between 10-25% of all clinically-recognized pregnancies end this way.[1]  The actual numbers are likely even higher, since some women miscarry before they even realize that they’re pregnant.[2]

What does this mean for us?

It means that you or someone very close to you is going to lose a child this way.

You may be tempted to think, “What’s the big deal, anyway? She doesn’t know her baby; heck, it’s smaller than her finger. How hard can a miscarriage be?”

Baby Piper, gestational age 20 weeks

Very hard, as it turns out.

Let me paint a picture of what an early pregnancy is.

It’s hope, plain and simple. Pregnancy is long, hard, painful, well-earned hope.

These babies are real, even if we can’t see them. Every time a mother learns that she’s pregnant, her world tilts and settles into a new sphere. She circles that nine-month date and then she dreams and dreams and dreams.

Do you understand? I can look down into my arms and just see my little baby there. I know how she would fit, how she would nurse, how she would sound and smell.

Miscarriage is the grieving of a body and soul for the baby that used to fit in both.

Baby Chantelle, age 1 month

Since many women will go through miscarriage, I want to tell you a little about what happened physically as a reference.

• Cramping
• There is cramping in a normal pregnancy, but these cramps felt exactly like a period and did not go away. 
• Bleeding
•  Light spotting turned into heavy bleeding. The bleeding was similar to post-partum bleeding, though not quite so intense. 
• Pain 
• With the heavy bleeding came sharp, piercing pain (also similar to my post-partum experiences). I needed ibuprofen and a heating pad to get through this.
• Healthcare:
• I did two ultrasounds- one on the initial day, one a week later. This allowed my obstetrician to verify that a miscarriage had indeed taken place. I also came in for several office visits.

Daddy with baby Piper

Let’s talk about emotional healing.

I think it’s important to reach out to those close to you for comfort and help. One of my friends from church came with me to the ultrasound appointment. She watched my girls in the lobby which relieved a large amount of my stress. I don’t think I could have made it through that day without her.

I felt comfort too that miscarriage, though difficult, is a normal part of the baby-having process. There needs to be a way for the body to terminate a failed pregnancy and prepare for the next one. After doing some research, I found that about 40% of all miscarriages happen because of a problem with the little baby’s chromosomes.[2] In other words, the baby’s body developed incorrectly and so was not able to live.

It was actually somewhat comforting to know that this wasn’t a normal pregnancy gone awry, this was a pregnancy that could not continue.

After the miscarriage, I also started to slide into post-partum depression. I've found with 'Baby Blues' that if I can keep myself from following that initial pull down, I can keep myself mostly free from the depression.

When I felt myself start to slide, I buckled the girls into their carseats and we would go out and do something fun or at the very least distracting. We bought donuts or walked around Petco to see the animals. When my husband came home at night, our family played together or just talked. All of this was hugely helpful for my emotional health.

The biggest and most important emotional aid came from a higher source. As soon as this miscarriage began, I went to my knees in prayer.

That first evening I had a strong impression from the Holy Ghost that there was peace, comfort, and understanding available if I sought them.

Chantelle age 8 months

I kept praying.

I know that God is not silent. I know that He cares deeply about me and about my family. Throughout my life, He has communicated to me through the power of the Holy Ghost in real, undeniable ways.[3]

My miscarriage was no exception; God was not silent. What He did to help me through this tough time actually started before the miscarriage took place.

About two months ago now, I remembered how much I'd enjoyed Cinderella as a girl. Singing mice, friendly birds, dancing; I was sure Chantelle would love it too.

While I was casually looking for Cinderella, I decided to add Taylor Swift's album 'Speak Now' to the list. I love her older songs and thought this would be a fun one to have in the car.

After deciding this, I took my girls to what we call 'The Adventure Store.' It’s a Goodwill Outlet where you pay by weight, and this place can be a gold mine. We’ve come away with some really fantastic things like DVDs, bicycles, and toys galore. All of it cheap, all in great condition.

We walked in and got a cart. I took my girls around the store until I looked in one of the last bins and- oh my goodness- there was Cinderella. Right next to it was Speak Now.

Of course I bought them (paid probably a quarter for both), and said, "Thank you!" to Heavenly Father. I was awed and a little struck by this very specific answer to a very specific desire.

My only question was, why? Why did He do this for me? I decided it was just an example of His mercy and moved on with life.

Two weeks later, I miscarried.

Piper age 6 weeks

Heavenly Father knew I was going to miscarry. He gave me a small reminder that He is listening to my prayers in things small and large. He cares about me. This was a tender mercy meant to be cherished and remembered as a token of love for me and my family at this difficult time.

---

There’s healing and there’s hope after a miscarriage. I now hold my little girls just a little tighter and feel grateful every day that they are mine.

Keep praying, keep hoping, and especially, keep loving. In the Lord's timing, all works out in the end.

- Jenna

“But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death...”

-Mosiah 16:8-9

---

References:

[1] American Pregnancy Association. Last updated 5/2/2017. http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/miscarriage/

[2] Tulandi, Togas MD MHCM. 2017. Patient Education: Miscarriage (Beyond the Basics). http://www.uptodate.com/contents/miscarriage-beyond-the-basics

[3] If you’d like more information about the Holy Ghost and his role in relation to the Godhead, follow this link: https://www.lds.org/topics/holy-ghost?lang=eng

How to Make Fudge Filled Cupcakes

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup-cakes

My first filled cupcake was at my little sister's wedding. I was blown away by the genius of putting MORE chocolate INSIDE the cupcake-- amazing!

On top of that, those cupcakes were piled with mounds of frosting, so much that you got it all over your face when you took a bite. 

I had eight. 

I wanted to stop at seven, but I noticed that there was one more raspberry lemonade cupcake, and I thought, "Well, why not?"

It was definitely a night to remember.


I've spent the last four years figuring out how to make cupcakes as delicious as those. It's taken a lot of experimenting and many (many, many!) batches of cupcakes, but I have figured out one recipe that I am completely happy with. 

Fudge-filled cupcake with buttercream frosting

It's my Chocolate Fudge-Filled Cupcake. 

Here are all of the things you could wordlessly communicate by giving away a cupcake like this.

Let's all get fat together!
Have a great Monday at the office
Time to celebrate being on a diet
I don't know you but I like you. Take a cupcake and let's be friends!

All right, enough chit chat. Let's learn how to make a really excellent cupcake. 

FUDGE-FILLED CUPCAKE INSTRUCTIONS:

You'll need:

One chocolate cake mix (my favorite is the butter-chocolate from Pillsbury)

Ingredients necessary for your cake mix

24 paper cupcake liners
2 gallon-sized ziploc bags
1 16" icing decorating bag
1 Wilton #21 Star Frosting Tip

Chocolate peanut butter with milk chocolate frosting

For the Fudge Filling:
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup dutch-processed baking cocoa (the nicer the quality, the better your fudge will be)
1/2 cup 2% milk
1/4 cup butter
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

For the buttercream frosting:
2 cups chilled butter (it needs to be soft enough to mix but cold enough to hold its shape before mixing)
1/2 cup crisco vegetable shortening
2 teaspoons vanilla
6 cups powdered sugar
(optional) 2 tablespoons Wilton Meringue Powder (keeps your buttercream from melting)
Milk added by the tablespoon as needed

Lemon-Raspberry Cupcakes

Instructions:

Cake:

1. Mix cake according to box instructions. Spoon cupcake batter into the paper cups OR fill a gallon-sized ziploc bag with batter. Cut off a corner of the bag and squirt batter into cups. 

2. Bake at box-recommended oven settings. Cupcakes are ready when an indentation in the cake springs back up. 

JENNA TIP:
Never trust a recipe's cooking time. When you are baking cupcakes, always check the oven after about 12 minutes. They will not be done, but you will have an idea of how close they are. I never cook cupcakes for longer than 16 minutes. 

Violet Love Cupcakes

Fudge Filling:

3. In a medium saucepan, mix together the sugar, cocoa, milk, butter, corn syrup, and salt. Heat to boiling while stirring. Boil 3 minutes, then remove from heat. Cool 30 minutes or until the chocolate is room temperature or cooler. 

4. Beat in the powdered sugar and vanilla until totally mixed. If necessary, thin with milk. Taste test as desired. 

JENNA TIP:
The thickness of the fudge is mostly determined by how long you let it boil. Three minutes ought to give you a firm-yet-gooey fudge. You can experiment with longer or shorter boiling times to get different results. 

Graham Cracker Frosting

Frosting:

I'm going to start this one with a little explanation. I adapted the fudge filling recipe from a cookbook, but this frosting recipe is 100% my invention. I've been trying to find the right mix of butter/crisco/sugar for literally years, and I finally figured this one out just recently. 

BUT- butter is different in according to where you live in the United States. This recipe was designed with eastern-type butter, which is typically long and narrow. Western butter is packaged to be thicker and shorter.

Western on the left, Eastern on the right

I don't know why this is, but eastern butter seems to have some sort of additive that makes it hold its form even when it's warm, almost like margarine. Western butter, though, will melt immediately into slop once it's warm. 

I kind of think western butter is higher quality, but ah well. You work with what you have. 

All of this comes down to mean that if you're trying this in the west, you'll probably have to keep your butter a a little cooler than room temperature and you'll likely need to add a few tablespoons of milk at the end to get a workable consistency. 

Back to the recipe. Sorry to slow you down!

5. In a kitchen mixer, add the chilled butter, crisco, and vanilla. Beat on a medium setting for 6 minutes, or until mixture is fluffy and no lumps remain. 

6. Add the powdered sugar and meringue powder (if using) and beat until mixture is smooth. If using western-style butter, a tablespoon or two of milk may be needed. You are absolutely required to taste test the finished frosting.

Assembly:

7. Using a serrated knife, carve out a hole in the center of each cupcake. If filled cupcakes are going to be part of your life, consider hopping onto Amazon and buying a cupcake corer.

Cored cupcakes

8. Fill a clean gallon-sized ziploc bag with the cooled fudge and cut off one of the bag's corners. Squirt fudge into the core of each cupcake until the holes are filled. 

9. Insert the icing tip into the decorating bag and fill the bag with icing. Starting at the center of each cupcake, squirt the icing in a spiral motion until frosting is covering the entire cupcake. 

You can do some cool things with frosting!

10. Get creative! Add grated chocolate, crushed candy, sprinkles, or whatever your heart desires. 

Let me know how this works out for you, and Happy Cupcaking!

-Jenna

Bunny Bottom Cupcakes for Easter